


Bundle up!

by imnotbuck



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Coping, Fluff and Angst, Love, M for angst, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7089139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotbuck/pseuds/imnotbuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky absolutely hates winter, Steve finds this hilarious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bundle up!

The cold was bearable when the wind wasn't blowing. Snow was falling lightly and it wasn't packing snow so it didn't stay on the ground long. When the wind came, it was a different story. It brought the flakes right into your face and burned your cheeks it was that cold. Steve wasn't immune to the cold but after being so small and having to deal with it back then, it didn't bother him anymore. That was the good thing about having gained muscles; he was a better size which meant that dealing with previously difficult things was easier. 

Bucky, on the other hand, despised winter. He complained endlessly about the snow and the cold and just about everything else, which was ironic considering he had been the Winter Soldier. The operative word being 'winter'. Steve pointed that out to him once and he'd punched him in the shoulder with his metal hand. 

"Buck, you're being a baby." He said when Bucky marched out of their bedroom with a parka, a hat, and two scarves on. "It just started snowing this morning and it's not even cold." 

"Don't care." His voice was muffled by layers of fabric. 

"We're not going very far." 

"Fucking cold, ass." Bucky walked over to him and held out his hand. "Gimme." 

"You're hilarious." Bucky only glared. He slid his hand into Bucky's and tucked it into his coat pocket. "Better?" 

"You're not even dressed properly." 

"I don't get sick and I'm rarely ever cold. By rarely I mean never." 

"Still worries me." Steve knew that Bucky wasn't really cold. Genetically he couldn't be to that degree and he'd obviously been in much colder places before. Ever since Bucky became Bucky again and the Winter Soldier disappeared, he began reacting very human. Instead of being resistant to everything that could bother him he was showing reactions to them; he got cold, he worried about and babied Steve, and sometimes even showed signs of real real pain. It was very strange— Bruce called it fascinating, a genetic anomaly. 

"I'm fine." 

"You may be superhuman but there's still human in you." 

"I know but I'm completely fine." Steve squeezed his hand. "You know that too." 

"It's just hard." Bucky sighed. "Hard not to see you as Stevie, the little punk who needed me." The sadness in Bucky's voice surprised him. 

"You think I don't need you anymore?" Bucky didn't reply. "You couldn't be more wrong." 

"Back then you used to get picked on and were frail and you needed me to protect you. I liked doing that— it, it was my job. Made me feel like someone." Bucky hadn't opened up to him that much since before the war. "Now you're Captain America, big and strong and tough. You don't need me to protect you." 

"Bucky." He bent his knees a little so that he could look into Bucky's eyes. "Why have you never told me this before?" 

"It's stupid." 

"It's not stupid. I need to know these things because I refuse to let you suffer alone. Did you feel this way back then too?" 

"When you got me from that camp I was too shocked to feel it but yeah, I guess. I was sad about it." Bucky paused. "And pissed that you were taller than me." Steve smiled but became serious again.

"No matter how big I seem, I'm still Steve. I need you more now than I did back then because I used to believe that I could do it all myself, now I know that I can't. I need you." Bucky's eyes were glassy and he looked away quickly. 

"If we don't go now it'll be too cold." He said gruffly. "I'm not goin' out if it's Arctic out there." 

"I wouldn't want you to." 

-

Bucky was getting better at admitting things. He was getting better at talking too; he and Steve actually had conversations that weren't about sad things. Two of Bucky's favourite subjects were hot chocolate and gingerbread cookies. He often said that the only good thing about winter was that it became acceptable to always have those things on hand. 

"You can have those whenever you want." Steve said and watched Bucky carefully carrying a mug of hot chocolate and a giant stack of cookies over to him. "You don't have to stock up now." 

"They taste better around this time." 

"You're an odd man. Let me help." 

"S'okay. I've got this." Bucky set the mug down on the coffee table and plopped down on the couch beside him. He waved a cookie in front of Steve's nose. "Mmm, want it?"

"You can have it." 

"I know you like these too so I got some for both of us." Steve grinned and took it between his teeth. 

"Thanks Buck." 

"No problem." He slyly watched Bucky eat. Seeing him enjoying something always made his chest feel full to the brim. He could watch him forever. Bucky caught him and stared, a cookie hanging out of his mouth. "What?" 

"Nothing important." Bucky leaned against him and he sighed. "Love you, you punk." Bucky put the cookies beside him and buried his face in Steve's neck, inhaling. 

"It's cold in here." Bucky mumbled. "Warm me up."

"Sure." He said and hugged him. He didn't bother to mention that Bucky's face was burning hot. 

-

Cuddling was a must for Bucky. He was as subtle as he could be which naturally wasn't subtle at all. He would grunt and hold out his arms or curl into Steve's side until Steve reciprocated. It was cute and Steve really enjoyed being wrapped around Bucky; well, more accurately, Bucky was always wrapped around him. He never denied him that right because he knew that Bucky wanted to protect him and that was only way he felt comfortable. 

"Steve." Bucky whispered against the nape of Steve's neck. "You awake?"

"Mmm hmm." He'd only woken up when he felt Bucky move but he didn't need to know that. 

"I.. I had a nightmare." Bucky so rarely spoke about what went on his head. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He didn't expect a positive answer and was surprised when he nodded.

"I was getting wiped. They put the guard in my mouth and pushed me back and I wanted to fight. But—but you were there. You were next, Steve. They were going to wipe you." Bucky was shaking viscously. "You kept telling me that it was okay and that you wanted it to happen. I couldn't figure out why— why would.. Steve I, I," Bucky was breathing heavily by that point. "I wanted to apologize and stop it but they were holding me down. Then I, then I wasn't a soldier and you hadn't taken the serum. You were so small and I was terrified for you but you were reassuring me." 

"Can I?" He wanted to touch him but he didn't know how Bucky would respond.

"Turn around. Please, Steve." He flipped and Bucky clung to him. "Don't disappear on me Steve." He shook his head. 

"I wouldn't, I would never do that. You're my best guy Buck— why would I leave you?" 

"I love you." Bucky whispered. "I love you so damn much, kid. You know I always have." 

"I know." He kissed Bucky's forehead. "I love you too." Bucky arched into his touch. 

"I want to be here with you for the rest of my life." 

"You will be, baby, I'll make sure of it." 

-

Steve could lift Bucky up like a doll and though Bucky pretended to despise it they both knew he didn't. He picked him up and carried him around as often as he could because he loved how close it brought them. It was wonderful to finally be able to just hold Bucky because he could without fear of repercussions. 

"I'm not a dame or a kid." Bucky griped. "You don't have to carry me everywhere." 

"I'm aware." 

"Then why do you do it?" 

"Because you're my man, Buck. If I can't keep you close what use is that?" 

"Punk." He sounded embarrassed. "Your chest is hard." 

"You know you like it." 

"Not when I'm being pushed against it." 

"Liar." Steve teased. "You love touching my chest and putting your face against it." 

"When you don't have a shirt on." He mumbled and Steve grinned. 

"Should I take care of that for you?" He said and moved to set him down. Bucky grabbed him by the shoulders. 

"Don't." 

"Don't?" 

"Put me down." Bucky mumbled. "Don't you dare put me down, Rogers." Steve smiled and held him tighter. "S'nice." 

"I think you like me more than you admit." 

"How can I like you more than I do now?" He almost squealed. 

-

Much to everyone's surprise Bucky was sick. He had a fever and a cough and needed to stay in bed, which meant that Steve had to force him to relax. He didn't like not being able to be mobile at his leisure and forced rest reminded him of bad things. Steve stayed with him day in and day out in order to make sure that he was handling things well. 

"You look so grumpy." Steve said and kissed Bucky's forehead; still warm. 

"I'b not grumpy." Bucky was frowning deeply. "Shuddup." His nasal voice was the cutest thing he'd ever heard.

"Do you need something to drink?" 

"No." Bucky said and leaned against him, curling up under the blanket. "You're not goin' anywhere." Steve's arms automatically shot out to wrap around him. He pulled Bucky on top of his chest and held him tightly. "Better."

"Good." Bucky adjusted his position and rested is head against his shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist. "How're you feeling?"

"Fine–d." He smiled. 

"You're so cute." 

"Shuddup." Bucky said and swatted his shoulder. "I'b not cute." Steve rubbed his back soothingly and Bucky made a soft noise of content. "I'b sick and gross." 

"Look at me." Bucky slowly lifted his head. His nose was red and his eyes were watery but he was still so perfect. He loved him way too much to be considered normal but considering they were both super soldiers, it was okay. He kissed him and curled his fingers around the nape of his neck, a spot Bucky favoured. Bucky groaned sadly and pulled away. 

"Stebe, I'b sick." 

"I don't get sick."

"I'm not subbosed to either but look."

"Even if I do get sick I think it's worth it. I wanna make you feel better and we both know the way to do that." 

"You're baking me horny." 

"Can I touch you, Buck?" 

"I don't wanna make you sick.." 

"I'll take full responsibility." Steve managed to maneuver Bucky onto his stomach, his shirt rolled up and pants lowered slightly. Steve kissed Bucky's lower back and licked, his skin flushed and salty. Bucky moaned and laid his head on his arms. He nuzzled the curve of his back and brushed his lips across. 

"Oh, feels good." Bucky whispered. "Stebe." He moaned and Steve laughed at how ridiculous he sounded. "Don't laugh!" 

"You sound so cute." He said and laughed. "It's crazy." 

"Don't call be that!" Bucky flipped onto his back and caused him to fall beside him. "Will I be cute when I suck you off?" Steve's stomach dropped. 

"You.." 

"I'b gonna blow you so good—" Bucky's voice cut off with a wheeze. Steve couldn't help it; he fell into a fit of laughter. Bucky shoved his shoulder weakly. "I hate you." 

"I'm sorry." He gasped. "It's just so funny, Buck. You're nasal and talkin' about sucking dick but you can't even finish your thought 'cause you're breathing too heavily!" 

"Sleep on the couch." Bucky said and yanked the pillow from underneath him. "Out."

"Buck—"

"Out." He repeated firmly. Steve pouted as cutely as he could and hovered over him, rubbing his face against his shoulder. "What're you playin' at?" 

"I'm sorry, baby." He said and rubbed slightly harder, brushing his lips across ever so slightly. Bucky noticed and let out a small sigh. "I won't laugh at you again." 

"Probise." He grinned and Bucky smacked his back. "Get off." 

"I promise, okay? Sometimes you're just so cute that I forget myself. I dunno what to do when you get all soft on me, dunno how to react 'cause you fluster me." Bucky hugged him and he felt so much better. 

"Why am I so sweet on you?" Bucky muttered and ran his fingers through Steve's hair. "Makes no sense." He could hear how much Bucky truly did like him and it made every muscle in his body loosen. "But I am. I love you, and you know it. That's why you get away with so much crap." 

"What do I get away with?"

"I can never stay mad at ya. I'm never angry for long, 'cause you're my fella." He fell against him completely and Bucky's hand moved lower to stroke his neck and shoulder. "You gonna fall asleep on me?" 

"No." He said and stifled a yawn. Bucky tutted and continued to pet him, eventually making him incredibly tired. 

"You're so tired." Bucky said, a smile in his voice.

"M'not."

"Quit lyin' and sleep, kid." 

"Keep talkin'." 

"Hmm?"

"I like your voice." Bucky spoke until he fell asleep, just as he'd asked. Before he'd succumb he noticed that Bucky didn't sound sick anymore. 

-

There were nights when a closed in bedroom felt too much like a cage and Bucky couldn't stand being in his room. On those nights he and Steve camped out in the living room beneath the cover of the couch, forming a blanket fort full of pillows like they had when they were kids. Steve kept his distance to make sure that he wasn't crowding Bucky but always ended up with Bucky held close. Once Bucky told him that he felt safe when Steve was with him, just holding him, and he longed for that but didn't want to push him. 

Bucky was lying on his side facing Steve, his arms under his head and hair tied back. He looked tired but showed no signs of going to sleep. Bucky had always fought sleep like that, he hated missing out on things and now it was more a fear of being vulnerable. 

"Can I ask you something?" Bucky asked quietly. 

"Mmm hmm."

"Did you.. did you miss me?" He turned to face him completely. "No, that's not what I meant. When you saw me on that highway— when you knew it was me, were you.. even a little happy to see me?" Before he could say anything Bucky shook his head and dismissed his own question. "Of course you didn't. I was trying to kill you and your friends. Why would you have been happy? I was destroying everything, I was trying to kill you." He closed his eyes and curled in on himself. "I was a nightmare— how.." 

"I missed you every single day." Bucky went deathly still. "I went to the Smithsonian constantly and looked at those pictures of us because I missed you. There were so many details that were too official; they didn't know how your eyes are more grey than blue or how you tend to speak out of the side of your mouth. They didn't know how warm you are or how you protect everyone who needs it. Your official records and field reports are there but you aren't. But I still had to go and make sure that I hadn't forgotten a single detail of your face, Buck. I've drawn it from memory but I couldn't stand getting anything wrong." 

He waited for Bucky to say something and continued on when he didn't.

"When I saw that it was you I thought that I was dreaming. I watched you die, Buck, and then you were there in front of me— I had touched you again after 70 years of being alone and cold. You didn't know me and it hurt but you were still there and alive. Even if you would've never remembered and continued to be the Winter Soldier, I would've followed you everywhere so that I'd never lose sight of you again. If you had killed me when you had the chance at least I would've died knowing that you were alive and that we'd met again like I'd dreamed of."

Bucky let out a howling gasp and started to sob. Steve shifted closer and let Bucky lean on him. 

"It's okay, Buck. It's all okay." 

"I love you so much." He hiccuped and clung to Steve by the shirt. "When I saw you sinking in that water I dove straight in and tore you out. Couldn't let you die on me, Stevie, not after years of needing you with me." He kissed Bucky's forehead and rubbed his back. "I started trying to remember after that because I wanted to know you. Couldn't lose you without knowing what I'd lost." Steve's chest filled with year's worth of sorrow and longing. 

"I'm not letting you go again." He promised. "I'll be right here no matter what." Bucky sniffed and kissed his throat. 

"I need you, Stevie." 

"I know darlin', and I need you just as much. Don't doubt that for a second." Bucky yawned and sagged against him, exhaustion finally setting in. "Time for sleep, baby."

"I'm good."

"I'm sure you are, but try for me okay?" 

"You're a nag." Bucky mumbled and relaxed fully. Steve ran his fingers through his hair and waited patiently for Bucky's breathing to even out. He covered them up and moved over to give more room. Bucky's hand shot out and kept him from going too far. "Stevie.."

"S'okay Bucky, right here." 

"Always?" 

"Always."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr](https://fuckyfarnes.tumblr.com/)


End file.
